don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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