Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
