then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
