Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
