how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
even my farts smell like vagina
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
