I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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