Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I see more hoeing in ur future
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
