Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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