Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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