three words: i give head
three words: not that well
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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