yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
