Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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