well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize