Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
