I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
