DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
