its not stalking. its research.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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