If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
