here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
