all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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