he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
