I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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