Me too!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
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That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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