I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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