my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
