he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
