so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
