if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
