peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
