do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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