I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
