You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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