my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
