We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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