I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
