the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
