If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
