That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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