The maid of honor just puked.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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