she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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