Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize