i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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