I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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