i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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