Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
