I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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