The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
