No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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