why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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