He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
