I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize