where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Come on in and take your pants off
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