The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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