it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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