my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
