i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
party gras won. party gras always wins.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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