He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
